takumina | ( ic inbox );

( of course there was no way of knowing that he would spend the next ten years of his life being effectively bossed around by a child, but he wouldn't have had it any other way; he would have done just about anything to keep the boy from being sold to the zen'ins for a myriad reasons, but if he thinks about the years they'd spent together, the three of them before tsumiki had been cursed —

his life would not have been the same without them. he cherishes those years with everything in them, and he's proud of the young man megumi is growing up to be. he really does love him with everything in him.

satoru inhales sharply when he mentions yuta, and by god and everything he stands for he doesn't want to think about that day, not now, when everything already feels so tentative, fragile and new. he lets that breath out slowly, swallowing around a patch of dryness in the back of his throat. ) Yuta is always going to fight for love, I think. It's just the kind of person he is. ( a good heart. a good soul. steadfast, loyal —

he pauses, and then: ) What will you fight for now?

[ what will he fight for now? what a question to ask. suguru's loved ones are in the other world, and he's here, a dead man given another chance (maybe?) with the one person he's ever truly been himself with, his other half, the only one he cherishes and loves; the hardest one he had to leave behind.

he's silent for a long moment, more vulnerable than he's ever allowed to be, lost. this moment truly is fragile, and with everything that has been going on, suguru can barely have time to himself to really, really think.

there's satoru, there's the children, there are those from other worlds who have been hurt for who they are, with their own unique powers --

-- he shifts, swallowing a lump in his throat. finally, he confesses a single truth: ]

I don't know. I've lost everything, Satoru.

[ and satoru -- who's here with him, whom he's sharing this bed with. there is an uncharacteristic uncertainty in suguru's eyes, tentative and careful.

almost everything. right...? is satoru still his? ]

( it's difficult to be vulnerable, he knows that well — perhaps it's the most difficult with the ones you hold most dear, because it means giving over an opening to be hurt, an achilles' heel to bring down the biggest, the strongest.

it would be so much easier to keep everyone at arm's length, and maybe that's why satoru is so particular with those he lets past his barriers. he would rather keep the walls up, truth be told, because it brings everything down to the bare minimum chance of some measure of fallout.

where the other's fingers had curled around his wrist at the beginning, satoru reaches to loosen that grip and instead twine those fingers with his own; it's something he does without thinking, meeting suguru's gaze as he fights to find the words that come out of him next, and it's such a finite statement — i've lost everything — that for a second he's unsure if he should say what lingers on the back of his tongue or not. )

There's always something to fight for. ( he ends up giving over softly, his voice catching, gone rough around the edges with the emotion he's trying to swallow down. ) Unless I'm nothing to you now.

[ ... oh.

his words hang in the silence between them, the revelation that satoru still wants to be considered his even after everything he's done, all the chaos and pain and death he's brought. his heart skips a beat when their fingers twine, the edges of warmth that keep him anchored where he is, steady against the darkness of spiraling thoughts.

suguru looks at him, sensing satoru's quiet understanding. they're rebuilding their connection, little by little -- and as it usually does with second chances, so much of it is difficult, and so much of it is ultimately worth doing.

here, they discover something new, they talk about things they've never said to each other when they were so, so young and flush with the illusion that they had all the time in the world. now, tempered by loss and heartbreak, they know better. ]

You're too much of a pain in my ass to mean nothing to me.

[ suguru manages with a small smile, leaning in to press his forehead to his despite his sass. his tone is gentle, and he squeezes his fingers. he remembers the last words satoru has ever said to him, and makes a soft noise. it's his turn now, is it? ]

...you're my one and only best friend.

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NOTICING A VERY UNFORUNATE TYPO WEEKS LATER good lord

shdjjfjfk I SAW NOTHING

YOU'RE DANG RIGHT YOU DIDN'T

AJKSHDHFG YOU'RE FIERCE I LOVE IT