( he prefers to consider himself largely unrattled by most things, unshakable as he most often needs to be; it's been a long, long time since he'd had a nightmare like this one, maybe not since the first year following the whole ordeal that had ended up giving them to him in the first place, but how often had he woken in a cold sweat, shaking from the top of his head down to his toes, the corners of his eyes burning with unshed tears because he couldn't help it —
there had been no time to grieve. there had been no time for anything and there is a part of him he's still convinced hasn't let go of everything they had been before the beginning of their falling apart. he could never let go of that entirely, his best friend, his only friend, his.
one and only.
he inhales deeply and holds it, and only when the other man tips his chin upward to make him look at him does he finally let it go, and it comes out of him so shakily that he can feel the way it rattles all the way down to his bones. )
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winterfish
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Date: 2023-03-27 07:08 pm (UTC)there had been no time to grieve. there had been no time for anything and there is a part of him he's still convinced hasn't let go of everything they had been before the beginning of their falling apart. he could never let go of that entirely, his best friend, his only friend, his.
one and only.
he inhales deeply and holds it, and only when the other man tips his chin upward to make him look at him does he finally let it go, and it comes out of him so shakily that he can feel the way it rattles all the way down to his bones. )
I dreamt I lost you again.